The Year After
by iluvclarkkentxx
Summary: After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry is determined to get his happy ending. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work as planned. AU 5 years after GoF. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

Hello all! Remember me? I know I haven't written anything in awhile, but I hope you didn't write me off completely. This story is more or less complete, so you shouldn't have to wait long for updates. But I must thank Chloe, my wonderful beta, who helped me out so much with this story. You can find her on LiveJournal as cleodoxa. But that's all for now, hope you guys like the new story...and don't forget to review!

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**Part One**

"It's official!" Harry announced as he walked into Grimmauld Place."I am the newest Auror recruit. According to Official Representatives of the Ministry, 'Experience holds much more value than a test score ever could,'" he said in a snooty impression of what he imagined the person who wrote his acceptance letter would sound like.

"That's great, Harry," Charlie replied with a smile before leaning in to give his boyfriend a congratulatory kiss. "I knew you would get in."

"Where's Sirius?" Harry asked, surprised he wasn't being welcomed home to lots of food and drinks. Sirius never passed up an opportunity to celebrate now that he had been granted his rightful freedom.

"He just went out for a bit," Charlie said with a smirk. "He should be back any minute now."

Harry knew that meant he would be back with those things he had expected to be waiting for him. Sure enough, Sirius walked through the front door, arms loaded with bags.

The three men were soon joined by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George, Albus Dumbledore, and surprisingly Severus Snape. Harry was sure the man was only there because Dumbledore manipulated him into coming.

Even though the past four years had been spent working with the man, they weren't exactly friends. Harry had given up his suspicions of the man after he gave up his role as a spy in an attempt to save Ron and himself from Voldemort. Harry hated thinking of that day when he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

They were only fifteen years old, but he still should have known better. Death Eaters had captured Hermione during the summer when she was on holiday with her parents. When the Order entrusted Snape to check out the situation before they would take any action, Harry and Ron decided they would save her themselves, instead of waiting. They were both distrustful of Snape, and didn't think he would have tried to save Hermione. Unfortunately, Voldemort had suspected Harry of doing just that, landing themselves into Voldemort's trap.

Hermione was dead before they arrived. Harry and Ron ended up trapped in a small room with about twenty Death Eaters waiting for them, and were quickly disarmed. As they called Voldemort and waited for him to arrive, they tried to duel the Death Eaters Muggle style. After the first hit landed, they were cursed with a multiple of dark spells to restrain and torture them.

Ron got the worst of it, likely because Voldemort ordered them to leave Harry for him to finish. Before Voldemort arrived, Severus managed to turn an empty potion vial into a portkey and take them back to Hogwarts. The curse injuries Ron sustained were too severe, and he passed before they could get him to Madame Pomfrey.

Harry's entire life changed that day. He lost his two best friends, and decided it was time to stop being a child who lead people into danger and start being smart. Ron and his' poor rescue attempt proved that defeating Voldemort would take more than enthusiasm. He dropped Quidditch, focused on his studies, and took extra lessons from anyone who was willing to give them. Most of said lessons happened to be lead by Snape.

They worked closely together for four years preparing Harry for the final blow. Voldemort managed to perform an ancient ritual in order to prevent death, but when he attempted to kill Harry as a baby, he marked him with a part of his own power. This left Harry with the ability to bypass the ritual, since it had recognized Voldemort's magical signature on Harry. That is why he was the only person able to defeat him, which he managed after years of training.

Unfortunately, not before losing many more near and dear to him. Ginny and Percy died as well, so the Weasley family was very thin nowadays. Remus, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall and a large portion of the student body had died in the final battle, which took place at Hogwarts when Voldemort burst through the wards.

But now that it was all over, Harry was set on living his life. He knew Ron and Hermione would want him to go on, no matter how much he grieved. He was going to be an Auror, he had his godfather, and a wonderful boyfriend.

Charlie and Harry came together when their lives were full of darkness. While Harry lost his two best friends, Charlie lost two brothers and a sister. They both were in need of comfort and found it in one another. That's all it was at first, but as the war moved on and Harry came of age, they decided it was time to become official.

None of the Weasleys questioned their relationship. The times were dark and if anyone could find love, age differences didn't really seem important as long as they could be happy some of the time. But now things were looking up, so Harry planned on being happy most of time.

* * *

"I'm a bit drunk," Harry said as he got ready for bed. "I should really stop allowing Sirius to convince me to just have one more all the time. It's never just one."

Charlie laughed huskily as Harry shimmied out of his trousers and slid into the bed. He pulled his young lover close to him and kissed him on the forehead.

"You know you can never say no to him." Harry smiled, knowing his boyfriend was right. Sirius was always so depressed during the war, and seeing him as happy as he was, it was hard to refuse him anything. "I got a letter today."

"Yeah, from who?" Harry said lazily.

" Mr. Lambert." Harry stilled. Mr. Lambert was Charlie's boss from his old job in Romania. After Ron died, he came home to help put the family back together. But with the danger still present, he decided to leave his job and help out in the war effort. "Harry."

"I don't want to talk about this," Harry answered, desperately postponing the dreadful conversation he did not wish to have.

"Ignoring it is not going to make it go away. He offered me my job back, and then there isn't really a place for me here anymore."

"Yes there is!" Harry said with more emotion than he thought he could muster after he had so much to drink. "Right here. This is your place, with me."

"As much as I love being with you Harry, I have to live my life. I can't just hang out here all day waiting for you to come home. I need to work."

"Okay, but that doesn't mean you have to leave the country! I'm sure you can find something around here." Harry said, hoping Charlie would heed his advice but knowing it was unlikely.

"There aren't many dragons in Britain. Besides, you're going to be so busy at the Ministry, you wouldn't have time for me anyway." Charlie said trying to lighten the situation. He didn't want to leave Harry, but he had to get on with his life. They all did. It was just a shame his life was in Romania.

"It's that easy, is it? You can just say goodbye like that. Are we going to pretend nothing ever happened between us?"

"Of course not! You will always be special to me Harry, always. But we knew when we got together it could never be forever. There's no point in stalling."

"You're right. We knew it wouldn't be forever then, but I was also pretty certain I wouldn't be around to have a future. But now I do, and what do I have? You were it, Charlie, and now you're leaving me too."

"That's not true Harry! You have plenty of people who love you. All the people who came here to congratulate you tonight for starters. All of your friends! And me, I do love you Harry."

"But not enough to stay." It wasn't a question, because they both knew the answer.

* * *

Charlie went back to the Burrow the next day. He was leaving in a week, but he thought it was best to spend his time there. Harry didn't protest. He wanted Charlie to stay, but he couldn't have him around all week, knowing he was leaving him. He thought it best to end it right away.

Sirius tried to cheer him up by planning their days out for them with pointless adventures. Harry went because he knew Sirius wanted to make up for all the time he missed, but it didn't do much for his spirits.

On the day Charlie was meant to leave, Harry declined Sirius' invitation to the zoo. He knew Charlie wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, and no matter how painful it would be, he wanted to see him off.

It was only lunch time when Charlie arrived. Harry invited him in to eat. Harry tried his best not to seem too affected, and managed throughout their whole meal. When it was time, Charlie kissed him gently on the lips, causing a single tear to fall from his eyes. He wiped it away before Charlie noticed.

When the door was closed, Harry allowed himself to cry freely. Knowing how Sirius would most likely get pissed before even thinking of coming home, he didn't expect to be interrupted in his heart break.

"Potter." The voice of Severus Snape in his drawing room was most unexpected, but Harry couldn't fathom the reasons he might be here since he was overcome with embarrassment. Not that Snape had never seen him cry, but those occasions were for acceptable reasons. He had a feeling the man would not be so accommodating when it was a matter of the heart.

"What are you doing here?" Harry whispered, hoping the man would ignore his crying.

"It's not important," Snape answered. "What's wrong with you?"

Harry was sure he would be mocked, but didn't really care in the moment. He just wanted to say it out loud.

"Charlie went back to Romania. For good." No sarcastic remarks followed, which both surprised and pleased Harry.

"I see." Snape sat in the chair across from Harry, and both just sat in silence for a long moment. "I'm not sure what to say in a situation like this. I don't suppose telling you Charlie Weasley is a barbarian would help much?"

Harry looked up and glared at his former professor.

"Listen Potter. I don't have much experience with such things, but coming from a casual observer, relationships come and go at your age. You can't expect your first long-term relationship to last a lifetime. You're young, handsome according to your many admirers, and not to mention quite a powerful wizard thanks to yours truly," Harry rolled his eyes at the remark, but smiled when he realized Severus Snape was actually trying to comfort him. "You will meet someone new and start the whole thing all over again."

No more words were spoken after that. They must have sat there in silence for over an hour. Snape did go and fetch them some drinks, but no other interaction between the two was made. It was odd, but nice, having Snape be so normal, but he began to get curious about his behavior.

"So, what did you come here for?" Harry asked. Snape then smirked wickedly.

"Just to tell you your dogfather got arrested by the Muggle police. He needs to be picked up."

"What?" Harry shouted as he stood up and frantically paced the living room. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"Relax, Potter, he's not in any real trouble. He apparently got out of hand at some zoo." Snape's voice was laced with amusement. "Besides, you didn't look like you needed the added stress when I first arrived."

Harry nodded. Although he wished he had been told immediately, he knew he would have had a hard time handling the situation before Snape managed to calm him down.

"Just go get some Muggle clothes on and we can go down there." Harry nodded and went off to the stairs to get into his bedroom.

"Wait a minute," Harry turned quickly, wondering why this wasn't the first question to cross his mind. "How come you got a call and not me?"

"Maybe Black has finally decided to make amends with me," Snape said mockingly, "Or maybe I happen to be the only person he knows with a telephone." Harry laughed and headed upstairs imagining how horrible it must have been for Sirius to have to call Snape in this situation.

* * *

"I'm here to pick up my godfather." Harry said as he reached the desk at the police station.

"About time," the woman said. Apparently, a name was not needed for some reason. Harry only dreaded what kind of havoc Sirius had caused. "It should just be a moment, have a seat."

About five minutes of sitting awkwardly staring at each other. Snape and Harry saw the door to the back open and Sirius walking out still handcuffed by a policeman.

"Harry!" He said excitedly, shoving himself toward Harry as if to hug him, but couldn't because his hands were behind his back.

"Sirius, what did you do now?" Harry said laughing and shaking his head. The police officer went to the desk and was gathering paperwork and a bag of Sirius's belongings, where he saw his wand quite obviously.

"I just wanted to feed the penguins." Then he leaned in to whisper. "I summoned some fish from the tanks! They don't know how I got them!" Then he started laughing joyously.

"Excellent idea, Black," Snape drawled. "That's a good way to attract the Ministry's attention. Performing magic in front of Muggles. Brilliant. Or maybe you just miss prison life so much, you thought you'd give the Muggle system a try?"

"Shut your mouth, Snivellus. No one asked you to come," Black spat, no longer laughing.

"If it wasn't for me, no one would be here at all, so I'd shut my mouth if I were you. Next time, I may be inclined to leave you here." Then Snape left. Harry waited for them to remove Sirius's handcuffs and retrieve his wand. Then he apparated them both home.

* * *

Harry's life seemed to go by in super speed after that. He was constantly busy with one thing or another. His Auror training had begun, which kept him working 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. Not to mention the occasional studying.

On the weekends, Sirius always had some new activity for the two of them to do. This always included massive amounts of alcohol, vomiting, and spending the rest of the weekend recovering. The actual activity really held no purpose, since neither of them could hardly remember it.

Although Harry was extremely tired from all this, it did keep his mind off Charlie. But he still couldn't help his thoughts from lingering on him when he was trying to sleep. It was hard not to, as he was sleeping alone for the first time in years.

It was difficult, but Harry was getting by. In fact, Harry was certain everything was going to be fine until one day Sirius had to ruin it.

He met someone.

Danielle Swine was her name. She was a couple years younger than Sirius (about the same age difference between himself and Charlie). She was in Hufflepuff during her Hogwarts days, and now ran a Muggle bookshop her mother owned. Of course she was beautiful, sweet, and a lot of fun, but Harry still couldn't help but hate her for taking Sirius away from him.

Harry knew it had been selfish of him to think it would never happen, but he couldn't help feeling neglected. Their weekends together slowly became the three of them, and Harry was getting sick of their love fest.

He tried to be understanding, considering Sirius had only had the occasional one night stand since his imprisonment, but he hated feeling so alone. Sirius had always been the one stable thing in Harry's life, but now even that had changed. It was worse being with the two of them than to actually be alone.

So he started to make excuses on why he couldn't go out with them. But in all honesty, Harry didn't think either of them minded. He was sure Sirius was only insisting he went along so he wouldn't feel left out. But third wheel status was certainly not any better than being left out.

So they went out, and he was alone.

* * *

Every once in a while, Sirius and Danielle would stay in and she would cook. _'Why couldn't they go to her house?_' Harry would constantly ask himself. They invited Harry to eat with them, and he would oblige only because he was hungry and had nowhere else to go.

And that is where the problem was. He really had nowhere else to go. He didn't have any friends.

Sure, he could have went to the Burrow, but he was sure someone would mention Charlie, and he wasn't ready to have that talk with his family. Fred and George had their own flat, but they also both had girlfriends. The last thing he needed was to be the third wheel in another person's relationship.

He spoke to a few of the others in his Auror class, but he wasn't close enough to any of them to really hang out with them. Then again, that was sort of his goal. After Ron and Hermione, he distanced himself from everyone. He spent most of his time with Charlie after that, unless he was at Hogwarts. Then he spent most of his free time training with Snape.

Snape.

He knew they weren't exactly friends, but they got on well enough. After the time Snape had tried comforting him after Charlie left, he felt the man wouldn't mind the company. He wasn't the only one with no friends. Besides, if anyone understood the need to get away from Sirius Black, it would be him.

* * *

Harry walked the halls of Hogwarts, clutching a bottle of firewhiskey. He was greeted at the gate by Dumbledore, who let him inside with open arms. When he explained what he was doing there, the Headmaster practically beamed. According to him, it was long overdue that Professor Snape and himself become friends. Harry only hoped Snape felt the same way. He was sure it was a crazy idea to begin with, then with Dumbledore's enthusiasm, he was certain it was absolutely insane.

Bringing the bottle of firewhiskey was his idea of a peace offering. Also, Snape would be less likely to cause him bodily damage if he was loosened up a bit.

He ran into a few stray Slytherin students running around the dungeons. They all whispered behind his back, no doubt wondering what Harry Potter was doing roaming the Hogwarts dungeons. Harry wished he had thought of this idea before the school term started, and could have just met the man in his house. Then again, the only place he'd ever been alone with Snape was at Hogwarts so it seemed an appropriate meeting ground.

When he reached the familiar door which lead into Snape's private rooms, he briefly thought of running away. He probably would have if he didn't know Snape would find out once Dumbledore undoubtedly told him about it the next day. Plucking up as much courage as he could, he knocked on the door.

"Potter." Snape drawled, as he opened the door, "Did Black get into trouble again? Cause you're barking up the wrong tree; I won't help him again."

"No, nothing like that, It's just, I.." Harry stammered suddenly feeling like an idiot. "I just thought maybe we could spend some time together or something."

Snape narrowed his eyes at the young man in curiosity. "And why would I want to do that?" he asked, wondering what the boy really wanted.

"I thought you might want a drink." Harry then held up the bottle he was clutching at his side. Snape stared at him, then the bottle, and slowly he moved to the side allowing Harry entrance.

Harry, holding his breath in anticipation, let free with a loud sigh. He made it past the first barrier. Now he just had to make sure he didn't say anything to insult the man, or he might not make it out alive.

* * *

Overall, the night was successful. Harry and Snape drank through the bottle within a couple of hours. It was fair to say they were quite pissed by the end of the night. Harry told him all about Sirius and his girlfriend, and how he was in desperate need to get out of the house.

Snape, taking any opportunity to insult Sirius, enjoyed this part of the conversation. Harry admitted to the man he had limited friends he felt comfortable talking with, leaving the unspoken words that Snape probably felt the same, and it left a bit of awkward tension. Snape managed to clear the air, by asking about Auror training, even if it was obvious he didn't really care.

Other than that brief moment, Harry would say everything went well. Snape invited him to come back anytime he felt the need to get away from his godfather, as long as he brought along another bottle to accompany them.

And Harry did.

Every weekend he returned to Hogwarts, only Snape would meet him at the gate instead of Dumbledore. He told Sirius he was hanging out with friends in his Auror class, not wanting to admit he was spending his time with Snape. He knew Sirius would just try and insist he hang out with him and Danielle, thinking he must be desperate to want to spend time with Severus Snape.

But Harry enjoyed their time together. He completely forgot about the heartbreak which was Charlie Weasley when they were together. They talked about Snape's abysmal students, or Harry's incompetent classmates. It was the perfect get away from reality.

They easily fell into the new friendship together. They were two people who felt out of place in their world, and found comfort in one another. Everything was great until about six months after the first night.

Harry was just got home from his Auror training, and was getting changed into some Muggle clothing (which he always felt were more comfortable), when there was a knock at the door. And when he opened the door, there stood Charlie Weasley.

It was odd to say the least. He had only been to the Burrow twice since they broke up, but he did keep in touch via Floo calls. Any time Charlie was mentioned, Harry clearly felt uneasy, so they tried to avoid the topic best they could. Which is probably why no one bothered to mention he was coming for a visit.

"Hey," Charlie greeted with a grin. "Can I come in?"

Harry wanted to say no, and get to Hogwarts as quick as he could, but knew it would be rude.

"Yeah," Harry said after a minute of stunned silence. "Yeah, come in."

Harry lead Charlie into the kitchen and offered him a drink, seeing he had nothing to say. He wasn't sure what the man who broke his heart six months ago could possibly want to say to him.

"Why are you here?" Harry blurted when it became clear that Charlie wasn't going to be forthcoming.

"Just wanted to see you," Charlie answered. "See how you're doing. It's been a while. I'm sorry I didn't write or anything, it's just..."

Charlie paused. Harry never bothered wondering why Charlie never wrote to him, and to be honest, he didn't really want to know. He took that as a sign they would stay out of each other's lives as best they could.

"It was hard for me to leave you Harry," he admitted after a few moments. "I knew if I stayed in contact with you, it would have been too hard. I would have wanted to come back, and that would have been a mistake."

Harry, now getting angry, stood up and tossed his glass into the sink.

"So what are you doing here now, Charlie? Are you over me now? Is it easy to see me now, is that it? If you want to cut ties, fine, but you don't get to decide when to open them up again. Who says I want to see you?" He shouted at the man.

"I just thought maybe we could be friends," he said lamely. "But if you don't want to, I'll go." Charlie got up from his seat, with one last sad look at Harry, walked out of the kitchen. Harry wanted to just let him go, but knew he was acting a bit immature. So he called him back.

"Charlie, wait," Harry said stepping out into the hall, noticing Charlie was halfway up the stairwell. "Stay. Really, I'm sorry. It was just a shock seeing you is all. Please stay. I would like to be friends."

Charlie smiled and walked back down the stairs, and followed Harry back into the kitchen. They had a couple more drinks, talking about the last six months of their lives, and finally the ominous subject of lovers cropped up. Charlie admitted to dating a bloke casually, but it was nothing serious. Harry was a little upset nonetheless, reluctant to admit he hadn't even thought about dating someone else. Which lead him to do something stupid.

"I'm seeing someone," he lied easily. "It's not serious either yet, but I'd like it to be." The lie was stupid. Harry didn't have any idea how he would explain this when Charlie went back and told his family. It would end up getting back to Sirius and then he'd have a million more questions to answer. But for some reason, he didn't want Charlie to know the truth was that he never got over him.

"Oh," Charlie said, surprised. "That's good Harry. Someone from Auror class?" Harry nodded, realizing it was the only lie that made sense. Sirius likely told Mr. and Mrs. Weasley he's been going out with his classmates. They were always worried Harry was shutting himself out, so naturally they would question Sirius about what he was doing. The Weasleys, in turn, would have told their son if he ever asked about him, which was probable. Charlie wasn't a mean guy, and even though he didn't write to Harry personally, he would want to make sure he was okay.

"I'm actually suppose to meet him tonight," Harry said, wanting nothing more than to get out of this conversation. "I'm a bit late actually." Which wasn't a lie, but he was going to meet Snape, not his imaginary boyfriend.

"Oh," Charlie said again. Harry got a bit of satisfaction realizing he was shocking Charlie. It was too bad it was all a lie. "Well, I don't want to keep you. I'm here for the week though, if you want to come to the Burrow. Catch up a bit more?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Harry answered. "I'll pop by Sunday most likely. Sirius will probably want to come, so hide the liquor." Charlie laughed nervously, and Harry smiled.

"I guess I'll see you then, then. Yeah, I'll see you then."

"Bye," Harry answered, feeling quite please with himself.

* * *

When Harry apparated into Hogsmeade, he was surprised to find Severus waiting for him. He was an hour later than when he usually arrived, and couldn't believe the man would wait all that time for him.

"So, you are coming tonight then?" Snape drawled. "I thought I would have to purchase my own drinks tonight." Harry rolled his eyes. "Wait a minute, it seems I will have to. Have you forgotten something?"

Harry realized in his haste to get out of his house, he left the bottle on the kitchen table.

"Oh Merlin," Harry whispered. "I'll just buy a new bottle off Rosmerta, I'm not going back there." Not that anyone was there, but he came to Hogwarts to get away from his life, and once he was here, it was hard to leave without being too pissed to care anymore.

"Dogfather getting in the way again I see." Snape said with a smirk.

"Actually, it wasn't Sirius." Harry admitted. "Charlie's in town. He went back to his parents, but I just don't want to go back there."

"Well, considering the circumstances, I suppose I could supply the drinks tonight," Snape said, surprisingly sympathetic. "But let's not make it a habit, shall we?"

They walked back to the castle in silence. When they arrived at Snape's rooms, he opened a small cabinet with his wand, which seemed much larger in the inside then it did from the out. There were about ten bottles inside, some wine, others liquor. Harry scowled.

"All this time you've been sitting on this and only offer tonight?"

"Hogwarts teachers don't rack in the galleons, Potter," he replied easily. "I won't refuse a free drink when it comes so willingly. Besides, you never once complained."

Harry rolled his eyes, but accepted the wine glass Snape handed to him. They had their usual weekly check up conversations, before Snape asked the inevitable.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did the barbarian want?" Harry didn't bother correcting Snape when he referred to Charlie as such. It used to bother him, but now it was a little endearing.

"Wants to be friends." Harry sighed. "I know his intentions are good, but, Merlin I just wish he hadn't come. I felt like such a loser. He comes and tells me how wonderful his job is and how he has been dating this stupid bloke. And here I am, brooding over him, six months later. It was horrible."

"Six months may seem like a long time, but being your first love, I'd imagine it takes a lot longer than that to recover."

"You imagine?" Harry asked, curiously. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

For a minute, Harry though he made a grave mistake. Snape seemed to pull into himself at the question, and Harry was afraid physical violence was a likely reaction. But as soon as it came, it was gone.

"Yes," he answered shortly and honestly. "But that was a long time ago." Harry, happily surprised with Snape's admission, smiled.

"How long did it take you to get over it?" Snape looked up then, staring right into Harry's eyes, and a sense of depression welled up inside him. Snape didn't need to answer, because Harry already knew.

"Never."

* * *

Later into the night, Harry confessed about his lie towards Charlie about pretending to have a boyfriend. He regretted the lie greatly, but could not take it back now. The only thing worse than where he was at now, was for Charlie to find out he was lying. He may be still stuck on the man he loved for four years of his life, but he didn't want him to know that. Especially not since he knew Charlie didn't feel the same.

Snape didn't seem to think this course of action was entirely wrong either; in fact, he encouraged the idea full heartedly. He even amended his Sirius issue, saying the man wouldn't think much on it. Considering he spent every weekend with Severus, unknowingly to him, the man would just believe he'd been hiding this boyfriend of his.

Harry thought on this, agreeing, most likely because he was a bit drunk by this point. But in all honesty, it made sense. Sirius has been trying to get Harry to move on with his life, and if he thought he had a boyfriend, he was likely to stop pestering him about what he got up to on the weekends. So in reality, his lie would_ prevent_ him from lying to the godfather whom he loved.

"So this girl you loved," Harry asked bravely, "What was she like?" Snape narrowed his eyes at him in a way that would probably frighten Harry normally, but with his alcohol consumption, he just responded with a lopsided grin. "C'mon, you know all my secrets."

"Are you really that blind?" Snape asked, successfully confusing Harry.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gay, Harry." Snape said, not at all ashamed. Harry never even considered that a possibility. But truth be told, he never really thought of Snape being with anyone until tonight. All of his professors, current or former, were all a-sexual beings as far as he was concerned.

"How come you never said anything before?"

"Well I don't usually talk about my orientation while I'm teaching, and until recently, that's the only conversing we have ever done." Harry nodded, not really understanding why he expected Snape to volunteer this information previously.

"Well, what was he like then?" Harry replied instead, quickly getting use to the idea of his former Professor who happened to share the same inclinations towards men as himself.

"He was a Death Eater." Harry choked on his fifth glass of wine at the answer. "We both joined up together. We were way over our heads, had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. He wanted out. We both did actually, but we were both too afraid to admit it to each other. Once you're a Death Eater, you can't be trusted, no matter how much history was between you. He tried to take down the Dark Lord on his own. Voldemort killed him."

Snape never used the Dark Lord's name aloud. He hated to, but anytime he talked about Regulus, he had to. He wouldn't be ruled by fear when he came to him, not again.

"I realized after that, there was no out. I wasn't strong enough to take him down myself, so I went to the only person he truly feared. I started working for Dumbledore the day of Regulus' funeral."

Harry, in complete awe of being warranted this sort of trust from Severus Snape, almost missed the last part.

"Regulus? But you can't mean?" Snape nodded, ashamed to admit the one man he truly loved, happened to be brother of the only living man he truly hated. "Whoa. I'm guessing Sirius doesn't know about this."

"As you know, the Blacks were self righteous purebloods. They couldn't have a gay son, it wouldn't be allowed. We had to hide, but that never mattered to me, I was just happy to be with him. I never needed anyone to know."

Harry then said the only thing he could think of.

"I'm sorry."

"No need." Snape said, refilling his glass. "It was a long time ago. The feelings I've had for him will always be with me, but I've grieved and accepted things for as they are. Not to mention, I've done my part in avenging his death."

"You never wanted to try it again?" Harry asked, "Being in love, I mean. Do you ever miss it?"

"I can admit there are times when I've thought about it, but with the life I've lived for the past twenty years, it wasn't really practical."

"How about now?"

"I'm too old to trouble myself with such things," he replied. "I've grown content with my life, and don't think I'd be too accommodating to change. I can say though, I do miss the sex."

Harry laughed at that, knowing how the man must feel. He'd only gone without sex for six months and sometimes felt like clawing his own skin off. He couldn't imagine living for twenty years without it.

"Have you ever considered having a purely sexual relationship then? I'm sure that wouldn't be too much of a burden on your content life." Harry said with a smile.

"Oh, I've thought about it. I think about it. I always think about it," Snape answered causing Harry to laugh again. "But I'm not the most attractive man, no side comments please, and I'd rather avoid the inevitable rejection which would come with looking for such a person. It's easier this way."

"I've thought about it briefly too, but I wouldn't even know where to begin." Harry admitted. "Charlie is the only person I ever even kissed! I can't imagine going to a bar and trying to pick someone up. The whole idea has disaster written all over it."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have as much difficulty as you suspect." Snape answered, and Harry was sure he was a slight change in color to the man's cheeks.

"Would you take me home then?" Harry asked, without thinking. He was sure this would be an end to their conversation, but was pleasantly surprised when Snape looked up at him with a smirk.

"Truthfully?" He said, "If you came up to me in a bar and asked me to take you home and have my way with you, you wouldn't have a chance to change your mind before I had you."

Harry blushed, quite obviously he might add. It was odd to hear Snape say such things about him, but in truth, it was also arousing. Then Harry began to think whether he should ask Snape to do as he said he would. They got on well enough as friends. They both were in love with men they could no longer be with, and were too scared to go out and try and find someone else. There was no need for them to suffer sexually as well. And with his brain cloudy from the wine, he saw no dire consequences from them enjoying each other's company in bed.

"We should." Harry said, now leaving Snape a bit confused. He couldn't believe Harry was suggesting was he thought he was suggesting.

"Can you clarify that for me?"

"We should have sex," Harry answered, "Just as friends of course. I mean, if you meant what you said. If you'd want. You don't have to, if you think it will make things weird. But I want to, if you do."

No more rambling was necessary for Severus. He got up and took Harry's hand and dragged him into the bedroom without a second thought.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Once again I must thank my wonderful beta Chloe (LJ: Cleodoxa). But no need for small talk, here's part two. Don't forget to review!

* * *

**Part Two**

Harry woke up in his own bed, feeling a bit worse for wear. His head pounded from the large quantities of alcohol he consumed the night before, and his back was aching due to the activities he had partaken in with Snape.

He wasn't sure what he had been thinking at the time, suggesting that they form such a relationship, but Harry certainly didn't regret it. Severus Snape was an amazing lover.

He took his time with Harry, relishing in everything that they did. He placed small gentle kisses all over his body, while caressing whatever he could get his hands on. He brought Harry to hardness with just a few well placed kisses on his inner thighs. He then did something Harry had never experienced. He licked him in a place Charlie had never got close to with his mouth.

Harry heard of people doing this before, and had thought about what it would feel like, but he was always too embarrassed to ask Charlie to do such a thing. Snape, true to his word, didn't need an invitation or to be asked. Harry found the whole experience exhilarating.

Snape spent a large amount of time rimming him, and Harry could admit he was close to coming from that alone, but managed to hold on to himself in order for Snape to take him. Which he did.

The sex itself didn't last very long, but after the round of foreplay Snape gifted him with beforehand, it didn't matter. He came quite quickly, just seconds before Snape did. Afterwards, however, Harry did feel a bit awkward.

Whenever he had sex with Charlie, they usually spent a good amount of time cuddling up to one another. But in a purely sexual relationship, Harry didn't think it was appropriate. Not knowing what to say, and considering the hour, Harry left after that. Sirius was still out when he returned home, for which he was grateful. He didn't think he could handle lying with a straight face last night after everything that had happened. And if Sirius knew he thought it would be a good idea to start shagging Snape, he would likely have him committed.

Unfortunately, Sirius was home that morning, and had plenty of questions for Harry.

"Well, well," Sirius said as he handed Harry a cup of coffee. "If it isn't my secretive little godson. Here I am, thinking he's been pining over Charlie all this time, and I find out he has a boyfriend."

"How do you know about that already?" Harry groaned. Charlie should have just kept his mouth shut.

"Danielle and I were at the Burrow last night. Everyone was there. Charlie was supposed to invite you, but apparently you already had a date. Mrs. Weasley spent a good amount of time screeching at him for not inviting you and your boyfriend." Sirius laughed at this. "Poor bloke was sulking all night. I don't think he would have made it through the night if you really had come with this boyfriend of yours. Not that you would have I'm sure, even if you were invited. How come you never told me you were seeing someone?"

Harry couldn't deny he was quite pleased knowing Charlie was upset that Harry had a boyfriend (imaginary or not). It may be a bit vengeful, perhaps just mean, but Harry couldn't help being glad that Charlie was upset.

"He's not exactly my boyfriend," Harry said, thinking of Snape, since that was in fact who he was with last night. "It's just casual is all, we're not labeling ourselves or anything. We just hang out. We're friends."

"You get, well, intimate with this friend then?" Sirius asked with his eyebrows raised. Harry just rolled his eyes in response. "Well, I wish I had some friends like that." He said with a laugh, "But according to our own Mr. Weasley, you want it to be more. Yeah, yeah, he practically gave me a blow by blow of the whole conversation. Get over it."

"It doesn't matter, things are what they are." Not that Harry _wanted_ to be in a relationship with Snape, but at the time he had told Charlie this, he hadn't actually been having sex with anyone, so it was all a big lie. Just because part of it was true now, he couldn't exactly change his story. But now that he had some truth to work with, it would be easier to lie.

"Should I take your reluctance to talk about this to mean that I won't even get to meet this not-exactly-your boyfriend guy?" Harry nodded with a smile, thinking of the look on Sirius' face if he were to bring Snape home as such a man.

* * *

If Harry thought it was awkward talking to Sirius about his '_boyfriend'_, it was nothing compared to his Sunday lunch at the Burrow. Not that he actually talked much about it. No one came right out and asked anything other than Mrs. Weasley, but even she waited until they were alone. Harry assumed that was for Charlie's benefit. After what Sirius told him about Friday evening, he suspected everyone was walking on eggshells about Harry's love life while Charlie was in the room.

When Harry went to the use the toilet, he was cornered by Mrs. Weasley on his way back into the kitchen. She of course had a million questions, and Harry had a difficult time trying to explain it was only a casual relationship. She asked Harry to bring him around for dinner, and he no matter how many times he explained that it would be weird, she kept insisting. Harry agreed to ask, but told her not to get her hopes up. She really didn't understand the concept of such a relationship, and Harry couldn't explain that it was code for _'We're having sex.'_

Charlie made sure not to talk to Harry alone the entire afternoon. The only conversations they had were among the entire Weasley clan, but Harry was actually thankful for that. They had said all they could the other night, and Harry didn't want to stick his foot in his mouth again and tell him another crazy lie. It was hard enough just dealing with the one.

But the day wasn't complete rubbish. Harry was satisfied to see Charlie feel so uneasy around him. When he came to Grimmauld Place, he was the image of cool and collected (which greatly annoyed the then distressed Harry). But now that he knew, or thought he knew, Harry was seeing someone else, he was clearly in a disarray.

Harry finally understood what Severus meant when he said the lie was a good idea. He couldn't possibly agree more.

* * *

Harry went back to Hogwarts the following weekend. Neither he or Snape said anything about what they had done, and Harry was beginning to wonder if Snape was having second thoughts and planned to forget it ever happened. He didn't want it to stop, but he didn't want to be the one to bring it up just in case Snape did want it to. Thankfully, as it got late, Snape suggested they go into the bedroom. There was no more talking after that.

They continued like this for a couple more months. Harry found himself getting antsy on Fridays while in training, wishing the day would finish so he could get to Hogwarts. There, they would spend the night drinking and talking before ending the night off with mind-blowing sex.

While he was with Charlie, they didn't have sex very often, considering they had a war to deal with. Plus with Harry being at Hogwarts most of the time, they went long periods of time with writing as their only form of communication. But knowing Snape was so close and accessible, it was much harder to go without it during the weekdays.

Sometimes he thought about surprising the man with a mid-week visit, but didn't want to overstep his bounds. That last thing he wanted was for Snape to decide their sexual relationship wasn't worth the trouble. Snape had already admitted his feelings about disrupting his routine life, so Harry was adamant not to do such a thing. Well, not too much, anyhow.

He had managed to get Snape to agree they meet both Friday and Saturday nights, so he would have to make sure he made the best of both nights. But considering Snape always had the weekends off from work, it didn't interfere with his schedule.

As the summer drew near, Harry wondered how things would play out once Snape was no longer at Hogwarts. Severus usually went to his Manchester home, and hoped the man would allow them to continue their meetings there. He couldn't imagine going over two months without him (or sex). So tonight, he decided to subtly bring the issue up.

"Summer's almost here," Harry mentioned, as if having a casual conversation. "Have you thought about what your plans are?"

Snape stared at Harry suspiciously for a moment, but answered nonetheless.

"Well, I'll be going home. I'll do some freelance potion making, as I usually do. Probably catch up on some reading."

"Oh," Harry said, "I suppose you're going to be pretty busy then. My schedule is pretty much the same year round. Auror training, you know."

"Spit it out, Potter." Snape growled. Harry knew Snape despised being given the run around, and Harry hadn't exactly perfected the art of being subtle.

"I was just wondering if it would be alright if I stopped by," Harry blushed then, feeling quite embarrassed. There was no need to be, considering he slept with this man regularly, but he couldn't help it. Snape just made him feel as if he was one of his students again when he tried to talk about their sex life. It was quite annoying, actually. "I mean, on the weekends. If you have the time that is, I wouldn't want to get in the way."

"Just because I will be in a different location, does not mean I won't have time for you, Harry."

The use of his first name made Harry smile. Severus rarely used it, and Harry couldn't help but feel elated when it left his lips. They didn't talk anymore after that. They just continued their night in the bedroom for their weekly rendezvous.

Technically, there wasn't anything different than normal about that night. But to Harry, it somehow felt different. It was like it was on a different level. It was better.

It felt intimate.

* * *

Severus Snape was surprised by the turn of events in his tentative friendship with Harry Potter. When he first arrived, offering a sort of olive branch, Snape agreed only because he really had nothing better to do at the time. As they continued their meetings, he found himself enjoying Potter's company (and his drinks).

All their previous encounters were about training. So it was nice to get to know the man who had been fathered by the bane of his existence, and to realize he was nothing like James Potter. Of course Severus knew that a lot of his personality had changed when Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were killed. He never had such close friends himself, but he could only imagine how something like that must change a person. Also, he knew how much losing Regulus had changed him.

Although he had never expected to actually befriend Harry, their new sexual relationship was even more of a shock. Severus had never had sex after Regulus was killed, for more reasons than one. He was too afraid to try and have another relationship considering he had been stuck on the wrong side of a war, and didn't think anyone would be open to the idea of having a purely physical relationship with him.

Then, to have a young, handsome man like Harry Potter be interested in just that, well, frankly, it was mind boggling. Not that he was complaining. Far from it, actually. He was very pleased to be having sex again, especially with such a young and talented lover. Harry may have been nervous their first couple of times together, but he soon got over it.

He was a bit ashamed of how accustomed he had become to their relationship, however. He knew it wouldn't, and couldn't, last. Harry may not be ready for another relationship now, and one day he would. And he severely doubted Harry would be the type to take a lover on the side. Severus couldn't deny it would be hard to give up the sex a second time, but he knew it was inevitable. He would just try and make the most of it while it lasted.

Which was the only reason he agreed to let Harry come to his home during the summer. He hadn't originally planned on it. He hated his family home, and didn't want Harry, or anyone for that matter, to be forced to see it. His father was a Muggle, and one with little money at that. The home was small and dingy. There was no one there to clean during the school term, and Severus didn't bother much during the summer. For him, it was only a shelter, never a home.

But when he saw the look on Harry's face when asking if he could come, Severus wasn't able to say no. This disturbed him to an extreme.

That night, as they had sex as they usually did, Severus knew something was different. Harry would smile at him softly whenever their eyes met. Normally, he avoided looking into Harry's eyes while they were in the bedroom, but on this occasion, he couldn't seem to look away for some reason.

When they had finished, he felt a sudden urge to ask Harry to stay. He squashed the feeling immediately, knowing he would never act on it, but he had wanted to, which was enough. He tried not to, but couldn't help but wonder what Harry's response would have been if he did.

* * *

Harry was a nervous wreck. Tonight was the first time he would be going to Severus' home, and he had no idea what to expect. He knew it must have been Muggle, considering he had mentioned having a telephone. He knew it had belonged to Snape's parents before they died, but he had no idea what they had been like. Anytime the subject of parents came up, both Severus and himself were reluctant to talk about them, so the conversation went dead.

"Pay attention, Potter!" Auror Brown yelled from across the room. They were supposed to be practicing their maneuvering. A stunning spell shot by his head, missing it by inches. Normally, he would never allow one to get close to him, but he couldn't stop worrying he was somehow going to screw tonight up and never be invited back to Snape's home.

"Sorry, Sir," he said lamely in response, and tried to pay more attention to the spells being shot at him.

When he got home, he jumped into the shower immediately. He was in such a rush, he didn't even bother saying hello to Sirius, who, oddly, was without Danielle tonight. After getting dressed (in some of his nicer clothing), he saw Sirius standing in the hall by the door.

"Where are you in such a rush to?"

"Oh, just going out with friends," Harry shot back the same lie he always told when Sirius asked him where he was going. Although, recently, he hadn't asked at all.

"The not-your-boyfriend guy then?" Sirius said knowingly.

"Yeah," Harry said, getting a bit frustrated that Sirius was stalling him. "And I'm late."

"You've only been home for twenty minutes!" Sirius shouted as if Harry was doing something wrong. "I thought maybe we could hang out a bit tonight, just you and me."

"I already have plans."

"But he's not even really your boyfriend," Sirius said. "We never get to spend time together just us. Come on, reschedule your little non-date."

"Just because Danielle doesn't have time for you, doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to cancel my plans." It figured Sirius would choose a time when Harry was no longer spending his evenings alone all the time for him to want to spend time together. Sirius could be so selfish at times.

"Harry, no! I told Danielle I wanted to spend time with you tonight," he said. "I just feel like we hardly see each other anymore."

"Well next time you want to spend time together, why don't you ask me before you plan it? I do have a life, you know!" And with that, Harry walked out of the house not giving Sirius a second glance.

* * *

When Harry got to the Snape's house, he banged on the door, quite forcefully. He was so angry with Sirius, he forgot to be nervous about being there for the first time. Severus answered the door, and if Harry was paying the slightest bit of attention, he would have realized he had dressed up for the occasion. But unfortunately, Harry shot by Severus without even giving him a second glance. Luckily, the hall lead right into a sitting room, and Harry plopped down on the nearest couch.

"Would you care to explain what has you so riled up?"

"Sirius," Harry huffed. "He drives me so crazy sometimes!"

"Is this the girlfriend or again, or just the fact that he exists?" Severus said with a scowl. He never missed an opportunity to insult Black.

"Apparently, I'm supposed to drop whatever I have planned if he wants to spend time with me. Like I spend my whole life just waiting for him to want to hang out with me," Harry continued in a long rant. "And who is he to say my plans aren't important because who I'm seeing is not really my boyfriend? Besides, how would he know that hadn't changed? Not like he ever tried talking to me. No, we never spend any time together, but can he make plans with me? No, not unless it includes Danielle. I hate her. I hate him too! I know he was lying. Danielle had blown him off, and Merlin forbid he spends a night alone. Like I'm.."

Harry stopped abruptly as a glass of scotch hovered in front of his face. He saw Severus sitting in the chair adjacent to the couch he was sitting on. Harry smiled and took the glass.

"I'm sorry," Harry said realizing now what was actually going on. "I guess I needed to vent a bit." Snape raised a single eyebrow. "Okay, so I had to vent a lot. This is your home then?"

Harry then took a moment to look around. The sitting room, which they were in, was quite small. There was only a couch placed behind an end table, and a large armchair. A bookcase dominated most of the left wall, but only half of it was full of books. The other spaces were being taken up by old vases, a couple of boxes, and random knick-knacks. In the corner, there was a small table with a television which had to be over 40 years old. On the right wall, a portrait of a lake house hung next to an entry way towards the kitchen/dining room. A small rickety table just inches away from the stove, could be seen from where he was sitting. Behind him was a staircase, but nothing could be seen upstairs.

"It's nice," Harry said untruthfully. It wasn't exactly what he had expected, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to be able to see Severus somewhere where no one would bother them.

"No it's not," Severus said. "But since I'm at Hogwarts most of the time, it seemed impractical to purchase something else. It's somewhere to stay."

"Yeah, so why don't you show me the upstairs?" Harry said suggestively. They had never indulged themselves this soon after meeting up, but Harry couldn't wait tonight. Severus didn't seem to have any qualms about it either.

Harry hurried up the stairs, Severus following at a slower pace. There were two doors when he reached the top of the landing. He turned to Severus, who nodded to the closest door, and Harry was inside. He didn't bother to waste his time taking in the surroundings, but grabbed on to Severus robes and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

They fumbled their way over to the bed, shedding their clothing along the way. Harry flopped down on the bed, pulling Severus on top of him. There wasn't a need for foreplay, Harry wanted it quick and rough. Severus prepared Harry with a quick spell before slipping inside him.

Harry arched his pelvis off the bed with a groan, meeting Severus' thrusts. Severus picked up his pace, sensing Harry's need for a quick release. But even with Severus moving as fast as he could go, Harry didn't think it was enough. Using some quick maneuvering (Auror classes were really improving his ability), he flipped Severus over using just his legs.

He slipped off slightly because of the move, but wasted no time on getting on again and began riding Severus at a brisk pace. In just a few minutes, Harry came all over Severus' chest. He collapsed on top of said chest, making his sticky as well, before remembering Severus was still inside him, and very hard.

Harry slipped off of him, cast a quick cleaning charm to both of them, and slid down to help finish him off with his mouth.

* * *

Severus Snape had never been more turned on in his life. He was seriously considering only having sex with Harry when he was angry. Harry was sucking his cock like it was the tastiest treat imaginable. He still couldn't believe how lucky he was.

As he came into Harry's willing mouth, he was in a place of complete ecstasy. Maybe that was why, when Harry lay on top of him and asked if he could spend the night, he said yes. Or maybe he was getting senile in his old age.

* * *

Harry woke up in Severus' bed, quite early in the morning. He had had a long week, and then there had been his fight with Sirius followed by his quick rough sex with Severus. He was wiped. He knew he had asked to spend the night (something he wouldn't normally have done), but he couldn't believe he hadn't been denied.

They never set rules or anything, but Harry assumed in a purely sexual relationship, spending the night wasn't usually a part of it. Especially not sharing a bed. But here he was, lying next to a sleeping Severus Snape. Harry smiled at him, then got up and went to look for the washroom.

He found a small one behind the other door on the upstairs landing. There was no bath, however, and Harry became curious as to the set up of the house. There was only one bedroom and a single toilet. His parents must have slept somewhere when they were alive, and there had to be another bathroom.

Being nosey, Harry began to search downstairs for evidence of such things. He looked in the small sitting room and still saw no other door, nor in the kitchen. He was beginning to think Snape hid it with magic till he noticed a crack in the wall just in level with the bookcase on the left wall.

Definitely crossing a boundary of some sort, Harry levitated the bookcase just enough for him to slip through the hidden door. Inside, there was a large room which use to be a bedchamber, although the bed was slammed up against the wall, and a large table dominated its previous place. On top were three empty cauldrons.

Clearly Snape had turned his parents' old bedroom into a potions lab. There was a large washroom attached, bath included, but it wasn't very clean. He noticed brown-red stains, that looked similar to dried blood, splattered the tub and became mortified. Was this the reason Snape never wanted to talk about his parents?

"It's not what you're thinking." Harry nearly jumped out of his skin from hearing Snape's voice behind him. "Just an experiment gone wrong. It has to be cleaned by hand. I was a bit tired last night."

"I'm sorry," Harry said as an apology for completely invading the man's privacy. "I was just looking for the bath." Harry blushed at what this suggested and watched Snape's expression go from indifferent to amused. "I mean, I was curious, because there was none upstairs. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come in here."

"I'm not angry, Harry." Severus said with more warmth than Harry had thought he was capable of. "I moved this bookcase here when I inherited the house. I just didn't want to go in this room; I never imagined I'd be living here, granted I spend less than three months a year here. I needed the bath," Severus said with a slight smile. "Then I decided if I was going to be spending time here, I might as well make it a place I didn't hate."

Harry wasn't sure what to say. He knew the subject of Severus' parents was touchy, so he didn't want to ask questions.

"I do have to work today," Severus said with a smirk.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Harry said, realizing Severus was kicking him out. He knew spending the night wasn't their usual routine, but he didn't expect to be kicked out right away. "I should leave."

"You don't have to," Severus said a little too quickly. "I mean, if you don't want to face the mutt waiting for you at home."

Harry grinned widely, realizing Severus definitely wanted him to stay. "He probably stayed up all night," Harry laughed, realizing Sirius would most likely be waiting by the door for him. "I should talk to him."

"Of course."

"But, we could have breakfast first? I mean, if you want?" Snape nodded. "Then I could go back, deal with him while you work, and then I could come back tonight?"

"It is Saturday." Severus stated. After all, they have been meeting every Saturday for some time now.

"Yes, yes it is."

* * *

When Harry arrived home, Sirius was indeed waiting for him. The second he walked through the door, he came running from the sitting room.

"You were gone all night!" Sirius shouted. "You never spend the night! I was worried sick!"

"Well, I didn't fancy coming home last night," Harry said truthfully. "I didn't mean to worry you, but I'm not a child. I can spend the night out when I want."

"I know, Harry. It's just, I wish you'd let me know. There could still be Death Eaters out there, looking for you. I just like to know you're safe. Just let me know if you're not coming home, please."

"Fine," Harry said, feeling guilty for worrying his godfather. He was just so angry the night before, he never considered how staying out all night would affect him. "I'm going out tonight, and I might stay out again."

"You're spending the night with him again?"

"Maybe," Harry said, knowing Severus wasn't likely to offer, but he really wished he would. It was nice to share a bed again for something other than sex.

"So is this serious now?" Sirius asked, "Is this guy your boyfriend now? Spending the night seems beyond friendship to me."

"Well, no," Harry said realizing he wasn't sure about anything. "We haven't talked about it. He's kind of, well, private. Set in his ways I guess. But if he wanted to, I would want to. I want it to be."

Just then, Harry realized it was the truth. Maybe it was because he spent the majority of his free time with Severus, or maybe it was the intimacy of sex, but somewhere along the line, he had started wanting it to be more. He had got over Charlie without even realizing it. All those feelings he had for his first love were now reserved for someone else. He still cared deeply for Charlie, and he probably always would, but now it was Severus whom he wanted to have his arms wrapped around.

"Maybe you should talk to him then," Sirius said. "You deserve happiness, Harry, and this bloke, whoever he is, obviously makes you happy, considering you spend every moment you can with him. Don't wait around for him to ask you."

Harry wanted to laugh, knowing Sirius wouldn't be saying this if he knew who he was actually talking about, but he appreciated the advice nonetheless. So he would talk to Severus, and just hope he didn't scare the man away.

* * *

Over the past year Harry's life had been, well, life changing. First there was the time after he killed Voldemort, which was a drastic change. He had spent the four years previous completely engrossed in training to kill him, having only Charlie as an outlet to be himself with. Then, when Charlie left him, he had to deal with a whole new kind of pain he never imagined experiencing. With Voldemort around, the idea of emotional heartbreak seemed rather unimportant. But just when he thought his life would finally start going his way, he was immediately disappointed.

Then his new relationship with Severus was something new and exciting. The idea of having a secret from his loved ones, and enjoying sex in a purely unattached way was exhilarating. But of course, Harry couldn't do that right. He couldn't keep his emotions away forever.

Now, standing on Snape's doorstep, ready to confess his feelings, he was a complete nervous wreck. It was like his first time going to see Severus with a bottle of firewhiskey clutched in his hands.

Harry knew the dynamics of their relationship had changed, and knew Severus felt it too. But he still wasn't sure if Severus actually wanted them to. His biggest fear was that he was spending his whole day wondering how he to suggest they progress their relationship, while Severus planned on how to end it before it got too far.

"You're a bit early," Snape said as he opened the door and made room for Harry to enter. "I'm just finishing up, why don't you get us some drinks and I'll be out in a moment."

Harry smiled. If Severus was planning to break things off, he doubted he would be asked to fetch them drinks. Even Severus wouldn't be that tactless. With a sudden skip in his step, Harry went into the kitchen and grabbed some wine glasses. Severus only had one bottle here, unlike his large collection at Hogwarts, but it didn't matter to Harry. He didn't know much about wine anyway. He preferred liquor, but thought wine would be more appropriate for the conversation he wanted to have.

Harry sat on the corner of the couch, waiting for Severus, while drinking his wine. He finished off a glass before the man came back from his potions lab.

"Sorry," Severus said sitting down next to Harry. "So how was your day? Black say anything else interesting?"

Harry knew an opening when he saw one, so decided to jump in head first. If he stalled, it was likely nothing would ever come out of his mouth.

"Actually, yes," he started, refilling his glass with his wand. "He was pretty upset with me for spending the night out without telling him."

"Naturally he'd try and treat you like some insolent child now; when you actually were an insolent child, he acted as if you were old school buddies." Snape spat.

"Yes, he is a bit unpredictable, but that's hardly the interesting part. Well, when I told him I spent the night with my casual boyfriend, he gave the most interesting speech. Apparently spending the night at his house was too serious for a casual relationship, and I have to agree with him on that one."

"Oh," Snape said, putting down his glass. "I see."

"I'm not finished yet."

"Really, there's no need, Harry. I know you only asked me because you wanted to avoid facing off with your godfather, but I shouldn't have presumed we'd spend the night together. I should have taken the couch. It was inappropriate."

"Now you're jumping ahead of me. I told you I wasn't finished." Harry said in a authoritative tone, liking very much what Severus was saying. It seemed to him that Severus was afraid Harry was here to break it off. And if he was afraid of that, he should take kindly to what Harry really wanted to say.

"When this whole lie to Charlie started, it was just to prevent me from feeling like an idiot. I didn't want him to know I was lonely and missing him. I told him I had a casual relationship with a man, whom didn't exist. But then we started, doing what we do," Harry said with a smirk. "It was almost the truth then. Of course, I also told Charlie I wanted it to be more than casual. One more knife in his back, I guess at the time. I wanted him to regret leaving me. It didn't mean anything. But when Sirius asked me about us spending the night together, I realized it did. I want this to be more, Severus. I want us to be more."

"Harry, I..." Snape started on what was likely going to be some kind of stalling.

"No. I spend all week thinking about coming here, and when I am here, I dread leaving. It's more than sex to me, and I think you feel the same."

Harry had another sip of his wine, waiting for Severus' reply. It took a few moments, but Harry didn't fret. He knew this was a major decision for a man who spent the past twenty years avoiding relationships because his only love was murdered.

"I admit, my feelings for you have changed," Severus said, and Harry drew a bit closer on the couch. "It is more than sex to me as well."

Harry then reached out for Severus' hand, only to have it pulled away from him in an instant. Harry frowned.

"It's not that I don't want to share this with you, Harry, but I could never give you everything you want. Everything you deserve."

"But all I want is you." Harry said, confused and a little upset.

"Maybe now," he said, removing himself from the couch. "But you're going to want someone to share your entire life with. Be a part of it, but I just can't do that. Your godfather and I could never get along. He would never approve."

"And I need his approval to be in a relationship?"

"No, you don't need it, but you'll want it. Without it, you'll be separated from him. Your relationship with him would never be the same. You'll resent me for it."

"That's ridiculous, if he can't be happy that I'm happy, then I don't want him to be a part of my life." Harry said with conviction. "I mean, yeah, it will be a bit rough at first. But if he sees that you make me happy, he'll approve. I know he will."

"You're delusional. Black doesn't know have any common sense. He would fight it with his last breath and you know it."

"So because Sirius might never approve of us, we can't be together? You're more worried about his happiness than ours?"

"No, not at all," Severus said looking straight into Harry's eyes. "I'm worried about your happiness. I will only offer you temporary happiness."

"I don't get you!" Harry said in a rage. "You admit you want more, but won't actually agree to it because things might not work out? If that's how you see things, maybe you shouldn't get into a relationship. How are you ever going to know if things will work if you don't give them a chance?"

"I'd rather never give it the chance, then try it and be unsuccessful."

"Well, fine. I hope you're very happy spending the rest of your life with only yourself for company." Harry then kicked the end table a foot away from the couch for dramatic effect and stormed out of the house. It was safe to say, things hadn't gone as well as intended.

* * *

**TBC**

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again to Chloe (LJ: cleodoxa) for being an amazing beta!

* * *

**Part Three**

Harry was so angry with Severus. He seriously wanted to curse the man into nothingness. When he had prepared to tell the man how he felt about him, he had anticipated the chance that Severus might not feel the same. He had dreaded it, but would have been able to handle it. If Severus didn't feel that way, there would have been nothing more to be done.

But to hear that he did feel that way, and refused to do anything about it was ridiculous. And Severus tried to claim it was for Harry's _benefit_? He didn't want Harry's relationship with Sirius to suffer? Severus was scared, nothing more, but the man was too stubborn to admit it.

When he came home that night, Sirius and Danielle were there. Of course, it was impossible for him to hide his anger at the time, considering he had decided to use the kitchen table as a punching bag. It was hard to answer their questions without giving out his not-at-all boyfriend's name. Harry was tempted to just tell him, but knew Sirius would overreact and do something stupid. And if anyone was going to hit Snape, it would be him, not Sirius.

At the end of his inquisition, Sirius had concluded it as his mystery boyfriend's loss. Harry wasn't so sure. Yeah, Snape might be missing out, but he didn't think he would mind as much as he, Harry, would. Severus had grown accustomed to being alone and was content with it. While Harry, who tried his best to avoid being alone, seemed to have loneliness thrust upon him. He hated it.

The worst part of it was that Sirius and Danielle had tried to get him to spend time with them again. It was like the start of their relationship all over again, and this time Harry had nowhere to escape to. So he spent his weekends in their company, being the third wheel all over again. He missed Severus, and had half a mind to Obliviate the man and erase his offer of a real relationship out from his head. Being friends with Severus was better than having no Severus, but knowing what they both knew, it would just be awkward now.

To make matters worse, his birthday was shortly approaching, and Sirius had insisted they throw him a birthday party. Harry would have protested more, but Sirius already got Mrs. Weasley to agree to cater the event, and Harry had a hard time refusing her cooking. Living with Sirius, they usually lived off take-out and sandwiches, so a home cooked meal was always a welcomed treat. He would just have to put on his happy face, hope no one would ask him any questions about his _'boyfriend'_ and try to have a good time.

* * *

Severus hated how things had turned out. He had enjoyed being with Harry sexually, but somewhere along the line it had become more than that. He wished they could go back to the way things were, but even though he could continue on pretending his feelings didn't go beyond friendship, he knew Harry could never do that.

Severus hated himself for being so weak. When he was with Regulus, had he relished the fact he was with Sirius Black's brother. Just knowing how Sirius would react if he had ever found out was priceless to think about. But now, imagining that same reaction if he were to find about Harry and himself, it made him nauseous. As much as he would enjoy Black's inner turmoil, he knew it would affect Harry in a negative way. And as much as he loathed to admit it, Harry's feelings were what really mattered to him now.

Harry had lost his parents and was forced to grow up with an abysmal excuse for a family. Then he had lost his two best friends at such a young age. Sirius, as unqualified for the job as he was, had and always would be, his father figure. And as much as Severus hated him, he could not separate them for the sake of his own happiness. And no matter what Harry believed, Severus knew that Black could never accept them being together. Harry would be forced to choose in the end, and the decision would destroy him. Severus knew it was best to end things now before it reached that point.

But even knowing this, he couldn't help but miss Harry.

Harry had fit into his life so perfectly, and although he knew that their relationship would not last forever, he was having a hard time adjusting. His weekends were dull and lonely anymore. He couldn't concentrate on anything without Harry creeping into his thoughts.

He wanted Harry to show up so badly. He wished being with Harry could work without hurting one, or both of them, in the long run.

Harry's twentieth birthday was quickly approaching, and Severus knew Albus would expect him to come to the ridiculous party Black was throwing. Albus knew that they had become friends, so he would think it odd if he did not attend. And since he was unaware of the change of their relationship, he couldn't actually use the truth as an excuse on why he could not go.

If he was honest with himself, however, Severus really didn't want an excuse not to go. He wanted to see Harry, even if it was only as acquaintances. He couldn't imagine having Harry completely removed from his life. He only hoped Harry would be okay with his presence.

* * *

On July 31st, Harry woke to Sirius hovering over him. Harry groaned before rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep.

"Happy Birthday!" Sirius shouted at the top of his lungs. Harry was half tempted to hit him. "Time to wake up, it's almost eleven."

"So," Harry moaned, quite distressed to have been forced awake on his own birthday. "I didn't go to bed until five in the morning."

"Well, whose fault is that? Get up and get dressed. Molly will be here in a minute to start making lunch." Sirius then left the room, knowing Harry would get up rather than be rude to Mrs. Weasley. He didn't want to admit why he was up so late.

He realized Dumbledore had been invited to this party, and in all likelihood, would invite Severus as well. But he still wasn't sure if he was happy or upset with the idea of seeing Severus in such a social setting. It would be hard to pretend that nothing had happened between them, but it would be just as bad to be acting oddly in front of everyone. Harry really wasn't sure if he could handle it.

He spent the whole night fighting with his inner self on how he would handle it if Severus did show up, but never actually coming to any conclusion. But after hours of planning, it occurred to him, Severus might never even show and decided that would be worse. Would they cease all communication now that their relationship was over?

Harry tried to put his mind at ease as he made his way downstairs after getting ready. He could hear that Mrs. Weasley had already arrived, and was busying herself in the kitchen. He head into the sitting room where he found Sirius, Danielle, Fred, George, and Mr. Weasley having tea. But there were two extra cups of tea. One only half full.

"Who else is here?" Harry asked, not expecting anything untoward.

"Me." Harry turned around in flash. Charlie Weasley stood behind him, looking better than he ever looked. "Happy Birthday, Harry." He embraced Harry, but he only half returned the hug, still too shocked to dignify more of a response. He had wasted so many hours wondering how he would handle himself if Severus showed up to his party. He never even considered what he would do if Charlie showed.

Charlie then proceeded into the room, sitting in front of the half-full glass of tea. Harry then took the spot in front of the full one, knowing he had absolutely nothing to say.

* * *

When Mrs. Weasley announced lunch was ready, Harry practically ran to the kitchen. He didn't want to take any chances of being cornered until he had some time to think about what he would say. He tried to think of something to say to Charlie, but the only thought that occupied his head was that neither Dumbledore or Snape had arrived.

Harry's wait, however, wasn't a long one. As soon as everyone began digging into their chicken and ham pie, footsteps could be heard heading down into the kitchen. More than one set, Harry noticed. Sure enough, Dumbledore, followed by Severus, walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry we're late," the elderly headmaster said, "Sometimes getting ready takes longer than you anticipated. Oh, everything looks lovely, Molly."

Harry didn't listen to any other side conversations. He only noticed Snape, who was avoiding looking at him. In fact, while he seemed to be looking at his meal, Harry noticed him taking curious side glances at Charlie. Charlie didn't seem to notice this, and was too absorbed in trying to fend off the potatoes Fred and George were flinging at him.

The whole meal was incredibly awkward for Harry. Everyone was talking loudly, but Harry tried his best to stay out of the conversation. He threw in a yes or no when he was asked a question, but he never elaborated. After the cake was served (and Fred and George had sung a loud and obnoxious birthday song they wrote specially for Harry), they began to head into the sitting room.

Harry, slipping off to use the loo, was stopped by Charlie's hand on his arm.

"Hey, can we talk in private?"

"Um, sure," Harry said, feeling a little sick, "Just let me.." He didn't finish the sentence, and went into the washroom. He splashed his face with water a few times after relieving himself. _He could do this._

Charlie led them into his room. The last time they were in there together had been the day Charlie left him. Harry wanted nothing more than to escape this house entirely and not come back until everyone was gone.

"So, how you been?" Charlie said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry remained standing.

"Alright, I guess. How about you?"

"Work is good. I've been a little on edge lately, but then I got the birthday invitation from Sirius, and that brightened me up a bit." Charlie said with a smirk. "So I hear you're single again."

Now Harry was furious, but he wasn't sure if it was with Charlie for mentioning such a thing or Sirius for discussing his personal life with his ex. Charlie must have noticed the change in emotion, since he didn't allow Harry to respond.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's just, I've missed you so much Harry." Charlie then stood up and stood in front of Harry. "Ever since I found out you've been with someone else, I realized leaving you was a huge mistake. I should have tried to make it work."

"No, Charlie, you were right." Harry stepped away to avoid looking Charlie in the eyes. "Your job is in Romania, and you couldn't have given up your career for me. For a war, yes. But not for me."

"No, I couldn't have. But I could have registered for weekend Portkeys back to London. We could have written. We still could, if you wanted. We could both get a Muggle mobile. We can talk every day that way, I've looked them up. It could work." Harry sighed. Just a few months ago, he would have loved nothing more than to hear these words coming from Charlie's mouth. But now, he only wanted Severus. Life was ironic sometimes.

"Charlie," Harry said, knowing this would hurt him just as much as it did when Charlie left him. "I can't. I'm in love with someone else."

"But Sirius said.."

"It's over between us, yes, but that wasn't my decision. I still love him, even if he doesn't want to be with me." Charlie then deflated. "I'm sorry, Charlie, but you're a little late."

"I understand." Charlie whispered. He then gave Harry a quick peck on the cheek, before he left the room and Harry collapsed on his bed. He couldn't go back to the party just yet.

* * *

Charlie Weasley wanted to hit himself. Sirius had sent him a letter over a week ago, asking him to come to Harry's birthday party. He mentioned that Harry's casual relationship came to a bit of a rough end, so he thought he would have a decent chance to winning Harry back. He never expected Harry to be in love with this mystery man. He and Harry had been together for over two years before he even uttered the words.

When he had first left Harry, he thought it was for the best. Long distance relationships never worked out well. He wanted a chance for Harry to be happy with someone who could actually be there for him. When he found out Harry was seeing someone, it hurt, but he was glad that Harry was happy. But nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel insanely jealous.

Sirius had said Harry wanted to make their relationship more serious, but the man turned him down. He couldn't imagine anyone not returning Harry's feelings after getting to know him. He must be an idiot.

He rejoined the party, trying his best to hide his rejection. It was unnecessary, however, since no one seemed to notice his hurt feelings or the fact that Harry wasn't even in the room. Everyone was having too much fun, except Snape of course. He seemed to be glaring at anyone who looked his way. Charlie raised his eyebrows at his former professor, and the man scowled heavily and stepped out of the room. Charlie almost laughed. He didn't understand why the man continued to come to their get-togethers if he always had such a miserable time.

* * *

Severus was not spying on Harry. He did not follow him down to hall to see him enter his room with his former lover. He just happened to need a bit of space from the rambunctious party goers. He hadn't been tempted to put a sound amplifier on the door.

Okay, so he was tempted. But knowing the only spell that would actually work would likely be heard throughout the whole house, he suppressed his desire to know what was being said inside. He hated to think that Charlie was in there giving him a very special birthday present. The man had given Harry up, he didn't deserve him anymore.

Not wanting to get caught standing in the hall in case they decided to leave the room, Severus went back to the party and waited for Harry's return. He glared at Albus who seemed to be transfiguring anything within range into party decorations with a joyous expression on his face. The Weasley twins were running around offering suspicious looking sweets. Severus knew better than to consume anything from those two.

He stopped paying attention to anyone else when Charlie walked into the room looking solemn. When he looked his way, Severus scowled before leaving the room. He was just going to make sure Harry was alright, and then he would be leaving. He missed Harry, but he certainly didn't miss being subjected to his friends.

He entered the room without knocking. Harry sat up from the sound of the door opening, and Severus was relieved when Harry gave him a brilliant smile.

"Hey," Harry said, looking uncertain. "I'm glad you came."

"I saw Charlie leave; I thought you might need to talk." Severus said, sitting down next to Harry. He hoped that Harry would not tell him he still had feelings for Charlie.

"No, I'm fine," Harry said, half-laughing. "He wanted to get back together actually, so if anyone needs to talk, it'd be him."

"You didn't accept his offer then?" Severus asked.

"No," Harry said with a smile, "I told him I was in love with an idiot who refuses to be with me even though we both admit we like each other. Well, I told him I was in love with someone else, anyhow."

"Harry..."

"No, please don't," Harry pleaded. "Don't say anything else stupid. I can't take it today. It's my birthday."

"Well, why aren't you enjoying your party then? I saw a substantial amount of presents piled up in there. Don't you want to open them?"

"I'd rather be here," Harry said, "with you."

"Harry, I know you don't want me to say anything in regard to this," Severus said seriously, hoping Harry wouldn't stop him again. "But I think I owe you a better explanation."

Harry nodded, and Severus knew he was curious to know the true reasons for his reluctance to take their relationship to the next step. Although admitting this would be embarrassing, he felt Harry deserved the truth.

"What I said about Black never accepting us still stands," he said with conviction. "You need him in your life. Fighting him on this will affect you greatly. But also, it would affect me. You know my history with him, and with your father. I'm not ready to have those old wounds opened up again. It would be worth it of course, if our relationship worked. But if it didn't, we wouldn't be able to have the friendship we share anymore. Black would make things very difficult for me. It wouldn't be worth it for a short time of happiness. It would be too painful."

"So you're entire reasoning is based on the fact that we wouldn't work out? You're expecting our relationship to fail!" Harry shouted. "Take a chance, Severus. Take a chance on me."

"I don't want to lose you, Harry. I'd rather have your friendship for life, than all of you temporarily."

"Can't we just promise we'll always be friends? It might not work, yeah, but if it doesn't we can still be friends. I promise."

"But once Black knows the truth, he will do everything in his power to separate us. He wouldn't want us to be together, even as friends. I'm not prepared to deal with that." Severus hung his head, and didn't protest when Harry leaned into him and grabbed his hand. Their fingers interlaced, and Severus would be lying if he said the action wasn't comforting.

"How about we compromise then," Harry said, squeezing Severus' hand lightly. "We try and have a relationship, behind Sirius' back. When it becomes clear whether or not we have a fair chance of working out, we'll tell him. Or not, depending on what we decide. But if you ask me, we'll work, Severus. I know it."

"You're too optimistic," Severus said, almost smiling. "When did that happen?"

"Since I met you actually." Then Harry kissed Severus with all he had to offer. Severus savored the feeling of being with Harry in this way. It wasn't the first time they had ever kissed, but it was the first time it had been for a purpose other than foreplay. It was wonderful.

If he was thinking clearly, instead of with his love-sick mind, he would have remembered they were in Grimmauld Place, at Harry's birthday party. He would have expected someone to come looking for him. But he didn't, which is why both of them were caught off guard when Sirius entered the room.

* * *

Harry was in awe.

It was funny how worried he was the night before, thinking what he would say to Severus if he showed up to his party, because the second he walked into his room, everything came so easily. He was so happy Severus had admitted his fears to him, but even more so that he had agreed to have a relationship with him. Harry didn't want to hide it, but if it helped eased Severus' worries, he would it do it for the time being. He was just glad to be kissing him again. To be able to hold his hand without him pulling away. It was bliss.

But Harry should have learned by now that bliss never lasted. Something always happened to take it away. Alas, Harry did not remember, and he allowed himself to get lost in Severus. When the door opened, he hardly took notice. Until of course, Sirius made his presence known.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY HIM, SNIVELLUS!" Sirius shouted, holding his wand out. Harry stood in front of Snape holding his hands up, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"Sirius, stop, please, just stop." Sirius shook his head, and Harry hated him in that moment. "Why do you have to be such an idiot sometimes?"

"I'm the idiot? Me? I'm not the one getting off with Snape! Seriously, Harry, I know you're hurting, but I'm sure you can find a better rebound then this," he spat gesturing towards Severus. "At least someone who won't get grease marks all over you."

"SIRIUS! That's enough," Harry shouted, desperately hoping he wouldn't say anything else in front of Snape. "Just get out of my room."

"I'm not leaving you alone with him," Sirius said with assurance. "And don't give me that, I'm an adult shite, because you're hurting, and he's taking advantage of you."

"Sirius, you have no idea what you're talking about," Harry whispered, wishing he could have told his godfather in a more conventional way. "Severus isn't taking advantage of me. He's the guy I've been seeing."

Sirius shook his head in disgust. He seemed at a loss of words, for which Harry was thankful. He knew if he did say anything, it would just be more cruelty towards Severus.

"Please just leave, Sirius," Harry said, with desperation. Sirius did, after shooting a few more disgusted looks at Severus.

Harry turned to look at Severus. He didn't look upset, but he was obviously feeling some kind of resentment. Harry tried to grab his hand again, but wasn't surprised when he pulled away. Sirius had the worse timing ever.

"I should go," Severus said. "You need to return to your party."

"I'm coming over tonight, Severus." Harry commanded.

"I really don't think.."

"I'm coming." Severus than nodded his head and Harry prepared himself to go back into his party, and maybe kill Sirius if he had to.

* * *

The party did not last after that. Sirius, in his fury, _requested_ for everyone to leave. At first everyone was worried, asking Harry if he was alright. He apologized for Sirius' behavior, and thanked them for coming. He knew that he and Sirius needed to talk, and having that conversation with a room of observers (especially Charlie) was not an ideal situation.

Danielle stayed a bit longer than the rest, in an attempt to calm Sirius down, but saw that it was hopeless. She was obviously confused, but when Sirius promised to come over when he was 'done speaking with Harry,' she left without any question.

When they were alone, Harry wasn't sure what to expect. Yelling? Disappointment? Resentment? He just couldn't be sure. Likely, a combination of the three.

"Harry, I just need you to tell me this isn't happening," Harry just shut his eyes, seriously contemplating feeding Sirius' denial. "I mean, how could you?"

"I love him." Harry said simply. If he wanted things to work with him and Severus, he knew he needed his godfather's acceptance.

"Uhh," Sirius cringed. "How can you do this to me?"

"Do this to you? Merlin, you really are a self-righteous, arrogant prat! Can't you just try and understand?"

"No, no." He answered, shaking his head repeatedly. "No I can't fucking understand! You've been seeing him for almost a year behind my back. You didn't think to mention you were sleeping with my enemy all this time?"

"Your enemy? You mean the guy you tormented when you were in school?"

"What has he been telling you? He was never innocent, Harry! Never, he usually always started it."

"Who cares who started what! It was over twenty years ago! Don't you think it's time to let it go?" Harry said, exasperated.

"Not when he's manipulating my godson into thinking he loves him. I can't get over that!"

"He's not manipulating me! He makes me happy. He cares about me. He loves me." Harry whispered the last words, not a hundred percent sure if they were true. He hoped Severus felt the same way about him, but couldn't be certain. Either way, Sirius didn't need to know if he didn't.

"Harry, did you forget he was a Death Eater? He's killed people."

"I know more about what he's done than you do, trust me." Harry said, remembering that horrible chat they had about murder. He had had anxieties about being able to kill Voldemort, so Severus came clean with him about what it was like. The only time he truly opened up to Harry when he had been a student. "Did you forget without him I probably would have been killed by Voldemort? I could have never done it without him."

"Is that what this is? You think you owe him for training you?"

"You really don't get it, do you? I love him. L-O-V-E, Love him. Not because he's manipulating me into thinking so, not because I feel that I owe him, and not for any other reason besides that he makes me happy. He cares about me, and I care about him. I'm happy when I'm with him."

"You make me sick." Sirius said, looking at Harry like he had never looked at him before. Harry was devastated. He never thought anything could come between him and Sirius, but he was wrong. He had really underestimated Sirius' hatred for Severus. "If James were here, he'd back me up on this."

"Fine," Harry said in defeat. He wasn't surprised Sirius would bring up his dad in an attempt to persuade him. The argument usually worked, but it wouldn't this time. It didn't matter what his dad would think. He loved Severus. "Then I guess I'll get out of your way."

Harry then pushed past Sirius, ready to leave, before being pulled back by his arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Where do you think?" Harry said, pulling his arm free. Then he walked out and Disapparated.

* * *

Harry Apparated to Severus' home in complete dismay. He couldn't believe Sirius would say something like that to him. He knew that he hated Snape, but throughout the war, they seemed to work together when they had to. He thought he could at least respect him for what he did for all of them.

But he was wrong.

Severus answered the door before Harry even knocked.

"Are you okay?" Harry could only shake his head in response. He was nowhere near okay. After the hurtful things Sirius had said, plus the knowledge of why he was here, was too much.

Severus had made his feelings very clear. He would not continue their relationship without Sirius giving Harry his blessing. Obviously, that would not be happening. It was all pointless to Harry, however, since he had no plans on forgiving Sirius without his blessing. So in the end, he would lose his lover and his godfather. Leaving Harry truly alone.

"Any chance you've had a change of heart?" Harry asked, feeling nothing close to hopeful. "I could stay here. He wouldn't interfere."

"Yes he would," Severus answered simply. "Besides, you need him Harry. He's important to you, which is why this hurts so badly."

"You're important to me."

"But he will always be there for you, I can't promise you that."

"No he won't, and this proves it," Harry said. "He only cares about me when it suits him. If he truly cared, he would be happy that I was happy, no matter who I was with. He doesn't care."

"He does care, Harry," Snape said, with no malice whatsoever for once. "He just can't believe that you could be happy with someone like me."

"So, why can't we prove him wrong? Let's prove him wrong!" he said in complete desperation.

"Harry..."

"I know, I know. I just, I love you." Harry realized it was the first time Harry had uttered the words to Severus himself, rather than a third party. "I don't want to lose you."

"Trust me," he replied, looking more upset than Harry had ever seen him. "I'm losing much more than you."

"No." He stated. "You're not losing anything. You're giving it away."

There were no words after that, only silent goodbyes.

* * *

Harry returned home to an unexpected house guest. Charlie Weasley sat on the couch waiting for him. Sirius was, thankfully, absent.

"Hey," Charlie said awkwardly. "Sorry for letting myself in. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened today."

"I'm not okay." Harry didn't bother to elaborate. His heart was broken by the same man who had comforted him when Charlie had left him, so he didn't think it would be appropriate to let his feelings out to him. Especially considering that only a few hours ago he had been trying to make amends and re-establish their relationship.

"So, Snape huh?" Harry looked at Charlie with wide-eyes for a moment, wondering if Sirius had gone and told him. "I kind of figured it out. I guess Sirius didn't take it very well."

"That's the understatement of the century. You're not mad at me?"

"Well, I can't pretend I understand it," Charlie said candidly. "But I trust your judgment. Besides, you probably know him better than anyone else. I just want you to be happy, Harry. That's all I ever wanted."

"I guess I'm disappointing you then, huh?"

"Give it time. Things will work out. They usually do in the end." Charlie said, in an attempt to be comforting, but Harry wasn't convinced.

"We didn't."

"Point taken." Then Charlie smiled, and Harry smiled back. Things may not have worked out in their relationship, but he realized then, they could be friends. And he'd take any silver lining he could get.

* * *

The following morning, Harry woke up to both Sirius and Danielle having breakfast in the kitchen. He tried his best to ignore their presence.

"Good morning," Danielle greeted him. Sirius avoided looking in Harry's direction. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Good morning,_ Danielle_," Harry said, putting emphasis on her name, "And no thanks, just tea today. I'm feeling a bit _sick_." Harry said, throwing Sirius' words back at him.

"Yeah, I'd feel sick too if I spent the night with that greasy git," Sirius spat maliciously.

"Don't say that!" Harry snapped, forgetting his plans to ignore Sirius. He hated that he was doing the very thing Snape had accused him of doing.

"I'll say whatever I want about that manipulating son-of-a-bitch. I'm not going to sit by and let him do this to you. I'll stop him."

Harry laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Severus was right about you. When I first asked him to take our relationship to the next level, he said no, because he knew you'd react this way."

"He knew I'd work out what he was doing to you and stop it, you mean?" Sirius interrupted.

"He knew you'd be a selfish prat who couldn't take his head out of his arse." Harry shot back before he could add, "He knew you would make me miserable if you found out. He didn't want our relationship to suffer."

"And why would he care about that?"

"Because, unlike you, he cares about more than himself."

Sirius shot up out of his chair, looking quite frightening. "I care about you, Harry! That's why I can't let him do this to you!"

"Do what exactly? I really want to know. Is it that he cares about me? That he makes me happier than I've been for a long time?" Harry said in a rough whisper. He was half-tempted to cry, but wouldn't allow himself to in front of Sirius. "That's what he's doing, Sirius, and you fighting it only means that you don't care about my happiness."

"You don't know what you're saying."

Harry closed his eyes, realizing it was stupid to ever get into this conversation. Sirius was so unreasonable. He just wanted to get out of the room, or more preferably, the house. But once again, he found himself with nowhere to go.

* * *

Three weeks went by after that, and Harry stayed true to himself and did not talk to Sirius anymore. He went to Auror class and would come home to sleep. On the weekends, he trapped himself in his room. He did everything he could to try and avoid his godfather. At first, Sirius didn't seem to mind, but after the first two weeks, he attempted to speak to Harry.

Every time he did, Harry would walk past him without acknowledging him. He never brought up Severus again, usually just trying to greet him with a hello or a good morning. But Harry would not speak to him without an apology.

He never expected one to come.

* * *

"He still won't talk to me," Sirius said as he plopped down into his girlfriend's bed. "I don't know what to do."

"Did you ever think of apologizing to him?"

"For what?"

"For not giving him your blessing." She said, not understanding why Sirius was so adamant that his godson shouldn't spend time with this older man. She understood it was a bit unconventional, but they were both adults and could make their own decisions.

"I can't do that. You don't know Snape like I do. He's a Death Eater."

"But I thought he helped in the war. You told me yourself he trained Harry while he was in school."

"Only because Dumbledore made him. He only did it to escape Azkaban, trust me. He's nothing more than a coward." Danielle didn't think any of that made sense. From what she had heard from Sirius and Harry, Snape seemed to be on the right side. He seemed to be a decent man, even if he sometimes was a bit of a git.

"Are you sure you're not just holding onto some old grudges? The way I see it, he made up for any mistakes he's made in the past. Don't you think it's time to let it go?"

"You think he should be forgiven for murder?" Sirius asked, half shouting. He never yelled at Danielle, and she was surprised to see this side of him.

"Who did he murder?"

"Who knows," Sirius said, shoving away the question like it held no importance. "But that's what Death Eaters do. They're nothing but murdering scum."

"Sirius, you're condemning this man for something you have no proof that he's done."

"I don't need proof."

"That was probably the same thing the Wizengamot said when they threw you into Azkaban." Danielle said, knowing she struck a nerve. But she needed to help him see that he was wrong. Harry would never be happy with Sirius acting this way, and Sirius would never be happy without having his godson being a part of his life. She knew Sirius had to be the one to fix it, and she would do everything she could to do so.

"That's not the same," Sirius said unsure of himself. "It's..Snape is.."

"The guy who makes Harry happy, and you're.."

"The guy standing in his way, I get your point, but why does it have to be him? Can't he find someone else? Anyone else?"

"Unfortunately, you don't get to make that choice for him."

* * *

Sirius hated his life.

He had tried to talk to Harry in order to be granted atonement, but was denied like the many times before. Danielle had told him he only had one more option, and although he would rather be anywhere else in the world, he was standing in front of the home of Severus Snape.

"Mind telling me what you're doing here?" Snape's voice deadpanned into his ears from out of nowhere.

"I need to talk to you," Sirius mumbled, hating himself more and more. He wanted to shout out, curse him, but knew he had to do this to get Harry to forgive him. "_Please_."

The front door opened then, and the man stood tall, wand in hand, and completely blocking the entrance of his home.

"Can I come in?"

"I think not."

"Fine," Sirius said, trying very hard to hold his tongue. "Let's get this over with then. Harry is my godson, and I care more about him than anything else in the world. And for some unknown reason, he seems to need you to be happy." Sirius sighed, wishing he didn't have to do this.

"Will you get on with it Black, I'm a busy man." Snape said, sounding bored. But if Sirius had known Severus at all, he would be able to see that he was extremely anxious.

"I am giving you and Harry my blessing."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because for the last three weeks, I have watched him mope around the house over you. He won't even speak to me. But I swear, if you ever hurt him, I will kill you myself."

"Charming speech," Severus said, not wanting to sound too desperate himself. "Why don't you tell him this yourself?"

"I've already said! He won't speak to me! So get your undeserving arse out here and go see him before I just decide to Oblivate the lot of you."

"As if you could.."

* * *

Harry was spending his Saturday in his room, studying some work for his Auror class. He already knew all the information like the back of his hand, but had nothing else to do. Ever since he lost Severus, his life just seemed to be a huge blur. His focused so much on his Auror training that he had become the best in his class. He would have been proud of this accomplishment, if he wasn't so depressed.

He heard a knock on the door, but ignored it like he always did. Sirius kept attempting to talk to him, but Harry had locked the doors preventing him entrance, and would not speak to him. If he did, it would only end in a fight, and he had no desire to add any more drama into his life.

"Harry," Severus' voice sounded behind the door. Harry didn't think he could have gotten up any quicker if he tried. When he opened the door, he found Severus standing there with Sirius. It was the most unexpected sight.

"Severus." Harry smiled. It felt so good just to be close to him again.

"Harry," Sirius said from behind. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'm not saying I understand it, and I certainly don't like it, but if you are happy then, well, I'll accept it."

Harry's smile got brighter as he jumped up into Severus' arms, kissing the man soundly like he had wanted to since they last did in the very room they stood in. When they pulled apart, Sirius was looking at them disgusted, yet still trying to hide it. Giving his reaction the last time he saw them share such an intimate moment, Harry considered it an improvement.

"Thank you," Harry said to his godfather. Sirius nodded, then made a hasty exit down the stairs.

"I told you he would accept us eventually," Harry said, wanting to boast about being right.

"You did," Severus said with a smile, reaching out to hold Harry's hand. "Color me surprised when he showed up on my doorstep."

"That must have been interesting," Harry laughed, wishing he could have witnessed such a thing. "I missed you."

"My life was less than pleasing without your regular visits." Severus said, trying his hardest not to sound too loving. It was, for lack of a better word, adorable.

"Do you think he'll ever get used to seeing together?" Harry asked referring to Sirius. "He looked close to hurling a moment ago."

"Oh, I certainly hope not," Severus replied with a smirk. Leave it to him to find enjoyment out of torturing Sirius. But in this case, Harry didn't mind. Because for once in his life, everything was finally going the way it should.

* * *

**FIN**

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